these desert sounds
by NalaxSimba
Summary: Amy Fusonako loved the idea of meeting her soulmate, of meeting the one person she would spend her life with. It was a moment she prepared her entire life for. Too bad he was from an enemy village.
1. Amy

**A/N: So it's been a long time, Naruto fandom! I may not have been active in this fandom for a while, but now I present the reason: this fanfic! I spent my NaNoWriMo writing this fic out, and although it isn't fully complete, I really wanted to get it out there! There's roughly forty chapters, this will be my main project for the foreseeable future!**  
**Also, I really wanted to try this Soulmate AU: I don't usually like soulmate AUs, because I feel like having a soulmate is kinda...an excuse for the characters to be together? So I wanted to try it, see how I do with changing it up! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I make any money from this fanfic. However, Amy is all mine, and all other OCs in this fic belong to me!**

* * *

Amy Fusonako loved the idea of meeting her soulmate.

She grew up hearing stories about soulmates ever since she was a little girl, listening to the tales of how her parents and grandparents met.

It was all just so romantic to her: the thought of having someone out there who could understand her like no other. Somebody who could love and accept her, faults and all.

When she was four, she asked her father about the soulmate bond.

"Daddy," the young girl asked, pulling at his hand. "what's a soulmate exactly?"

Kousei hadn't been surprised by the question: living in their world, that was a normal question to ask. He knelt to his daughter's level and ruffled her hair lovingly, his gaze sneaking to his wife now and then. "Well, Princess, a soulmate is like a best friend but more. It's the one person who inspires you to become a better person."

Amy tilted her head to the side innocently, "How will I know who they are?"

Gently, Kousei lifted two fingers and prodded her in the tummy. "At some point, you'll hear a noise that's somehow linked to your soulmate. The noise will get louder the closer you are to them."

Her eyes widened in awe. "What was mommy's sound?"

An ear-splitting grin broke on to Kousei's face. "Your mother's was the sound of a whirlpool." Upon seeing his daughter's confused face, he let out a hearty chuckle. "It's like the sounds of waves spinning around."

Amy seemed to understand that explanation, and her eyes lit up with joy. "Aaah! I wonder what my soulmate will sound like Daddy!"

It was from that point on, Amy spent her entire life preparing to meet her soulmate.

She read books on the subject. She asked the villagers how they acted with their soulmates, and they gave her kid-friendly versions of their intimacy and just how in touch with each other they were. Amy loved hearing their stories.

Now she just had to wait around to write her own story.

When she was five, she heard the noise.

It came in the middle of the night. She'd been fast asleep, dreaming about playing with Sakura and Ino tomorrow at school, when suddenly her tummy grumbled so loudly it woke her up. Her tummy hurt, and the young raven could only sit there and rock herself back and forth to try and stop the pain.

Then, her head hurt. She gripped her head tightly and let out a small groan, trying her hardest not to wake up her brothers or parents. She would deal with this pain, it was probably only a headache! She lived a busy life as a five-year-old!

After a few more minutes, the pain subsided, and she could hear the sound of sand in her head. It rustled around her, almost as if somebody was walking through mounds of sand and kicking the sand into the wind as they did. It never stopped.

It only took Amy a few minutes to realise what this sound was, and she couldn't control her excitement.

The five year old immediately hopped off her bed and pounded through the hallways, into her parents' bedroom. "_Daaadddy_!" she wailed excitedly as she climbed onto his bed. "Daddy, Daddy, _I hear it! I-hear-it-I-hear-it—"_

Kousei woke up in protective father mode and wrapped his arm around his daughter protectively. "Hear what?" Even as he spoke, he was reaching for the kunai on his bedside table to attack if his daughter heard an intruder.

Instead, his daughter grinned and poked her tummy. "I hear the sound! The sound of my soulmate!"

Realization dawned on Kousei, and let his kunai fall to the table. Then, he grinned, matching his daughter's excitement. "Oh? You have tell me what it is, sweetie!"

Next to him, his wife shifted, opening her eyes groggily. "Kousei?" Her voice was still sleepy as she sat up. "Amy? What's going on?"

Oops. In her excitement, Amy had forgotten that it was the middle of the night! She couldn't bring herself to feel bad though, not when she had heard her soulmate!

"I hear the sound, Mommy!" She grinned, leaping into her mother's arms. "The sound of my soulmate!"

Immediately, Sayuri sprung up in bed, eyes wide. "Aaaah, no way! You need tell us what it is!"

With a proud grin, Amy began to explain. "It sounds like somebody's walking through a sandpit! And as they're walking—" she stood on her parents' bed and kicked her foot to emphasize her point, "they're kicking the sand into the air—" then, she lost her footing and tumbled down onto the bed. "_oof_—and it doesn't stop! They must have a long way to walk!"

Amy didn't realize that her parents were giving her ludicrous looks until they didn't respond. She pouted and stuck her hands on her hips. "Doesn't that sound amazing?!"

Kousei forced a grin, "Of course it does baby girl! And it means something else too!"

Amy's eyes widened with glee. "Really? What else does it mean? Tell me, tell me, _tell meeee_!"

Kousei chuckled and took hold of his bouncing daughter's hand to calm her down. "I can only assume, that since it's such a specific sound—the sound of a desert—that your soulmate is from Sunagakure."

"Suna-ga-kure?" Amy sounded out quietly, tilting her head to the side. "What's that?"

Sayuri pulled her daughter down, listening to her giggles as she cuddled into her. "It's another village, just like ours."

Amy's eyes sparkled with wonder. "There's more than our village?!"

Kousei and Sayuri shared amused glances.

"Of course, sweetie." Kousei chuckled as he lay down, with his arms wrapped around his two favorite girls. "Sunagakure is another village out there, with people just like us."

Amy's excitement picked up again. "I wanna go! I wanna go visit Sunagakure and then I can meet my soulmate! And then we can get married and I can wear a pretty dress and we'll have a big party and—"

"Haha, slow down there, tiger!" Kousei chuckled, a part of him wanting to stop that imagery in its tracks. His baby girl was five, he wasn't ready for her to grow up just yet! "We can't just take you to Sunagakure."

Amy tilted her head to the side. "But you're the clan boss! Why can't we go? Just ask the Hokage permission and we can go find them!"

He looked at Sayuri, both with worried looks again.

"Well," Kousei began slowly, "you see, baby-cakes, we're not quite…welcome in Sunagakure."

Amy tilted her head to the side again. "Why not?"

"We fought with them a lot in the past," Sayuri soothed, stroking her daughter's hair. "But that's not to say you can't ever go there. Just not yet."

Ever optimistic, Amy glanced up at her parents. "So I can go one day?"

They both nodded, and Amy grinned excitedly. "I can't wait! You'll see, I'll meet my soulmate and we'll live happily ever after and we'll outlaw the fighting between our villages! No fighting at all!"

Sayuri smiled gently and cuddled into her daughter. "That's a beautiful dream, Amy. But…I think we should all go back to our dream lands and get some sleep, okay?"

Kousei nodded in agreement and cuddled down into his bed. "Your mom's right, Amy."

"I always am," Sayuri whispered into her daughter's ear, causing her to giggle.

Amy nodded her head and cuddled into her parents.

But, she couldn't sleep. Even with her parents snoring next to her, she could still hear the sound of the sand in her mind, and it got her so excited. What was her soulmate like? She hoped he was kind and made her laugh!

She glanced at her parents and wondered about her soulmate's parents. Were they ninja too? Were they as kind and loving as her parents?

She was so lost in her thoughts, that when she eventually fell asleep, she dreamed of her soulmate and the sandy terrain he walked through.

* * *

The next day, Amy couldn't wait to tell her friends about the sound she discovered. The sound kept her distracted all day (although she did perk up considerably when Iruka-sensei mentioned other villages!), and she had to share her exciting news with someone.

As soon as class was finished for recess, she rushed to find Sakura and Ino, her grin unmatched.

The two of them were sat underneath a cherry blossom tree, Ino picking flowers and helping Sakura organize them into a bouquet, explaining the meaning of the flowers to Sakura.

There were a few other children sat near them, but Amy didn't care as she sped full force up to them and practically leaped into their laps.

Ino reacted by screaming, and Sakura threw the flowers at the young girl.

Amy's only reaction was a frown. "Guuuys! That was a bad way to greet me!"

"You scared us!" Ino argued, but her terror turned to smiles. "Come look at the pretty bouquet I made!"

"We made!" Sakura pipped up, playfully pushing her friend.

Amy shook her head, "No, no, no! I gotta tell you my news first!" She jutted her chest out proudly. "I heard my soulmate!"

Ino and Sakura immediately dropped the flowers to the ground.

"No way!" Ino squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "What was the sound like?"

Amy's grin turned into one of pride. "It sounds like sand! Daddy said my soulmate was from a different village!"

The talk began then; asking if she had any information on this different village; if she could remember the name (she had to shorten it down to Suna, but she still remembered!), if she'd had any other hints to who it would be. Other children crowded around her; they'd never known that you could get a soulmate from a different village!

"I'm going to ask Hana-neechan!" Kiba grinned, not wanting to be taken for a fool. "She knows everything, she can tell me if it's true!"

"And I'm gonna ask my father!" another child called out—another Fusonako, Amy noted momentarily, trying hard to remember his name. Oh, right, it was Kenji!

Amy giggled. "Do it! Daddy says I can't go there just yet because our villages used to fight!"

The children of only four years old didn't grasp the severity of the situation.

Ino swooned. "Aah, it's so romantic! I can't wait to meet my soulmate!"

"Mine's gonna be so powerful!"

"I want mine to be kind!"

The playground filled with the chatter of what their soulmates would be like, describing how their soulmates would look and running away with wild ideas of happily ever afters and big, grand weddings.

The talk of soulmates, and that sound whirring around in her head, made Amy feel so, so lucky.

* * *

For the next few years, Amy poured her heart and soul into learning all about Suna's culture. She learned all about their mythology, the way their people adapted to the desert heat, how the village was created and how their Kage was chosen—that in particular was so different to how her village chose their Kage!

By the time she was eight, she prided herself on the fact that she knew just as much about Suna as her academy teachers. And she loved the fact that her soulmate was from Sunagakure!

Amy was so, _so_ open to the idea. She loved her village, but there was a desire in her to explore other villages and cultures, a need that only grew since she learned so much about Sunagakure. Kiba had asked his sister all those years ago, and it turns out you could have a soulmate from anywhere! It didn't matter where you were: the bonds that connected you were much stronger than the distance.

Sometimes, she would get weird looks from some of the older Chuunin. Amy was very open about who her soulmate was, she prided herself on it. It was all just so exciting!

But some of the adults didn't like it as much. With Suna and Konoha's history, she supposed she couldn't blame them. Regardless, she was determined to use her bond to her soulmate to help overcome that too!

"It's like a political deal!" She had told her mom one day while Sayuri was brushing her hair.

Sayuri frowned and shook her head, Amy noticing the motion in the mirror behind her. "Amy, sweetie," Sayuri began. "Your soulmate shouldn't ever be used for political gain. Your soulmate is about love; _never_ let anyone use your love as a political gambit."

Amy blinked, "But I thought it was a good dream?"

"It is a good dream," Sayuri reassured. "It's admirable you want to stop the fighting. But don't ever lose your love with that line of thinking. Your soulmate is there for you to love and cherish, not use in some political gain."

She turned Amy around to face her, a firm glance on her face.

"Amy Matsuo Fusonako," Sayuri had used her full name, and Amy gulped a little, "you need to promise me you will never let anybody treat you like that, okay? Never let anybody use your soulmate in political gambits. And, regardless of what the older generation might think, we're on the path to friendship with Sunagakure. _Never_ let _anybody_ tell you to hide who you love."

Amy nodded her head. "I promise, Momma."

Sayuri smiled and kissed her daughter's head lovingly.

Sayuri just didn't know what was coming. Nobody saw it coming. Troops of Sunagakure ninja stormed the gates, swearing death on all Fusonako ninja.

Amy didn't see much of the battle—Jounin of the clan and village were called to whisk the three children away.

But she could hear it; the sound of kunai, swords, jutsu, shouts and screams and loud thuds.

The young girl put her hands over her ears and cuddled into her brother's shoulders. "Daichi! Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop!" She begged, tears pricking at her eyes. "I don't like all this noise!"

Daichi couldn't do anything but run his hands through her hair lovingly in an attempt to soothe her.

Amy leaned into her brother's embrace and squeezed her eyes shut. She had to tune out the violence somehow!

The sound of sand still echoed in her mind, and that gave her the idea she wanted. She focused solely on the sound of her soulmate—the sound was still far, far from here.

That meant her soulmate wasn't grouped in with these attackers, and that made her feel a bit more comfortable.

Amy knew that these ninjas were from Sunagakure: she'd seen the logo on their headbands in passing. And, yes, her soulmate was from Sunagakure, but his sound was still so far, far away that he couldn't be with the attackers!

All of her research about soulmates had paid off: the sound got louder the closer you were to your soulmate, she knew that.

She focused on the sand, imagining what her soulmate was doing right now. Was he playing in his garden? Or was he training to be a ninja right now?

Could he hear her? All the tales said that the sound was triggered by a traumatic experience happening to your soulmate, a way for you to hear that they needed help—but Amy didn't believe that. After all, soulmates were meant to be a happy thing, right? So surely, through that logic, they should be triggered by something happy too!

If he could hear her, what was her sound? She'd never thought of that before, but she hoped it was something nice. Not the sound of cries or something!

The sound of the sand whirled inside her, and it brought a small smile to her face. Despite what was happening outside, there was good in this world.

She had her parents; they could take these ninjas out there! She had her siblings, with her through everything, and she still had her soulmate out there.

A soulmate from Sunagakure.

Fate wouldn't have put them together if their villages would continue fighting. The fighting would stop one day, she would meet her soulmate and unite their villages.

Her mom told her not to let people use her love for a political gambit, and she wouldn't, but she would use her love to bring peace to this world.

With that happy thought in her mind, Amy fell asleep cuddled into her brothers, protected by the Jounin ninja who vowed to protect her family, and the thought of the peace she could bring to this world.

The happiness didn't last long.

When Amy woke up, Daichi was talking to the Hokage in a hushed voice. Another Jounin was hugging Haruka—was she crying? And Asuma—the Hokage's son—was staring over Amy with a forlorn look in his eyes.

Amy sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "Asuma-san?" She asked innocently, tilting her head to look up at him. "What's going on?"

Asuma bit his lip awkwardly as he glanced down at the young girl.

She looked around the room. "The sounds have stopped. Are Mommy and Daddy back yet?"

Asuma shook his head slowly. He had to tell her; she deserved to know. "I'm sorry Amy…they won't be coming back."

Still, she didn't understand. "Why not?"

Asuma, with sad eyes, glanced over to where Haruka was crying into the Jounin's chest.

"Amy…your parents were killed in battle."

* * *

The next few months were hard for the Fusonako children.

At just sixteen years old, Daichi was made to become clan head. He had never mentioned wanting to be the clan head—Amy was sure that he never wanted the position.

Their clan head only took the position at age eighteen, when the clan believed children became adults—and they usually went through so many trials to test out the suitability of the new clan head. However, with Kousei and Sayuri dying in such a way, the clan elders were sloppy and hasty with the choosing regulations. The previous leader had been murdered and believed to be weak; they had to prove their family line was still strong.

In fairness to Daichi, he took the position with no complaints.

Most of the village came to the funeral, paying their respects to a beloved clan leader and his wife. Kousei and Sayuri were loved throughout the village; killing them was one of the worst things Sunagakure could've done to the village.

As soon as the funeral was over, their children fell under scrutiny.

The elders made more rules.

Daichi had to be strong, and so he had to attend training sessions with ANBU and Jounin to test his strength. Amy hardly saw him after that. It would be an insult to his father if he wasn't strong.

Haruka had to train to become her brother's right-hand woman, abandoning all her hopes and aspirations for life to become nothing more than her brother's servant.

And Amy herself became known throughout the village for who her soulmate was.

That was the con of being so open about who her soulmate was: everybody knew.

"Her soulmate is from the village that killed her parents!"

"Poor girl…"

"There's no way she seriously wants to find her soulmate, right?"

As if that wasn't enough, the clan became more protective off her. She didn't understand why; maybe some people thought she would run away to Suna to be with her soulmate, or maybe they thought that the tiny, youngest daughter of a clan head couldn't protect herself.

With Kousei out of the picture, it seems she was just seen as a weak, little girl.

Clan members followed her everywhere. She and Haruka were escorted to and from school, and she lost the normalcy of seeing her friends and being able to play with them like a normal child.

Over the years, her friendships with Sakura and Ino changed.

"It's not you," Sakura had tried to tell her, the nine-year-old pink-haired child looking at Ino for help. "Right, Ino?"

"Of course not!" Ino agreed. "It's just…your bodyguards." She motioned to said bodyguards with a wave of her hand. "They…they scare us. We don't want them watching over us."

"And," Sakura pointed up. "We talk about soulmates a lot…"

"Ooh." Amy forced a smile, shaking her head. "Don't worry about it! I understand."

She did understand, but it still hurt.

She vowed to stay hopeful. Things would change for the better, right?

After all, just a few months after the attack, Sunagakure had offered a peace treaty. That had to mean things were changing, right?

"The Hokage asked for our permission," Daichi told them, dark brown eyes bore into them. Below him sat the documents describing the peace treaty. "He wanted the opinion of anyone who lost a family member in the attack." And then, with a quiet voice, he added, "I have to agree. You guys understand right?"

"I don't see why we have you to ally with them." Haruka seethed, crossing her arms over her chest. "They attacked us! They took our parents from us!"

"Believe me," Daichi's tone matched his sister's, "there's nothing I want more than to storm the village and kill them all for what they did." He shook his head, almost as if clearing the mere thought of revenge out of his head. "But…the village is still recovering from their attack. It was only three months ago: if they attack again, I don't think Konoha will survive. This is the only way the Hokage can protect the village. This is the only way I can protect you two."

He glanced around to make sure no other clan member was eavesdropping. "But, I won't take it if you guys don't want me too. I'll tell the Hokage we refuse to accept the deal. He won't take it."

Amy shook her head. "No! Daichi, you have to take their deal! It'll protect us all!"

Daichi glanced between them. "Are you sure?"

The two nodded their heads, and Daichi added his signature to the scroll with a grunt.

Amy hoped this meant things would be changing for the better.

The people, while they understood their Hokage's decision, were rightfully furious. It wasn't just the Fusonako children who lost someone important that day.

Alas, Konoha needed to make this treaty, even if it was just to recover.

But Sunagakure ninjas became hated in their village. Over the years, their anger grew. Even the mention of Sunagakure ninjas became something that would rile the citizens up, cause them to brawl in the streets and try and crush out anyone who defended them.

Within the Fusonako home, the mere mention of 'sand' became something that was tarnished. Talking about Sunagakure ninjas within the Fusonako household was banned. Daichi himself didn't help: he always told his people not too trust the Sunagakure ninjas.

"They're our allies," he would say, "but they could turn on us again."

However, the anger directed at Sunagakure ninja did make Daichi worry about his sister. People knew who her soulmate was, but she couldn't stop her feelings. Would they attack her? What if she sought her soulmate out?

Daichi called her into his office one day and offered her a solution.

"I'm going to pass a rule," he told her protectively. "I discussed the issue with Lord Hokage, and he's agreed to pass this rule within the village. People can't mention who your soulmate is. If anybody asks, you don't know. You haven't heard them yet. The Sunagakure nin was just a rumor—a tall tale made up by a little girl who didn't know any better."

Amy raised an eyebrow, the twelve-year-old staring at her brother. "Do you think people will believe that?"

"People your age will," he reassured. "The older generation might not believe you, but you have to prove them wrong."

"Daichi, what are you implying?"

Daichi rubbed his temple. "Amy…you can't be with your soulmate. Ever."

"What?"

"Sunagakure ninjas are bad people, Amy!" he stood from his chair and glanced out the window. "We can't trust them, not after what they did."

As awful as it felt, Amy had to admit she understood where he was coming from. "So I'm meant to be single my entire life?"

Amy was a hopeless romantic. She wanted to fall in love. If she couldn't do it with her soulmate, the person is chosen by literal fate, who was she meant to fall in love with?

Daichi shook his head. "No, the clan elders wouldn't allow that. They'd want to marry you off."

"You wouldn't agree to that, right?"

"Of course not," he seemed almost insulted that she thought that. "But I know how much romance means to you. You'll just have to fall in love with someone else."

"That sounds easier said than done."

He turned to face his sister. "Amy, this is serious. I can't lose you. I forbid you from dating a Sunagakure ninja. Ever. They could kill you, turn you against us or use you for their selfish desire. No sister of mine will be with a Sand ninja."

Amy wanted to argue, but she understood where he was coming from. She had to comply.

"Fine," she bit her lip. "I won't seek out a Suna ninja. I won't date a Suna ninja."

Daichi pulled her into a tight hug, and she hugged back just as tight.

It was hard saying no to her brother, after everything he'd done to keep her safe.

But…it was also hard to ignore the sound of the sand that echoed in her mind in her mind daily.

On nights, she would look at the moon and ask why Fate would set her up with a Suna nin.

No matter how many times she asked, she still got the same reply; the sound of sand echoing from within her.

* * *

**Another reason why I uploaded this: I wanted something to post for Valentine's Day, and the one-shot I was working one wouldn't be completed in time!**

**I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter! Constructive criticism is always welcomed-blatant flaming is not!**


	2. Gaara

**A/N: Not going to lie, I've had this written for a while now. I needed to run it through my proof reading website, and had some things to change which is why it took so long. Also, why is it that the chapter that is based entirely of canon events in the show, was harder to write than the chapters where I have to create everything?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I make any money from this fanfiction.**

* * *

If there was one word that could describe Gaara no Sabaku, it was 'curious'.

He yearned to learn everything he could about the world, his village and the sand that protected him. That was why he asked Uncle Yashamaru so many questions: if anybody had the answers, it would be him! He was the smartest person Gaara knew!

"Yashamaru," the six-year-old asked one night when his uncle was serving him dinner. "I wanted to ask you something."

Yashamaru looked towards his nephew with kind eyes. He didn't stop dishing the food up as he spoke. "What is it this time, Lord Gaara?"

Yashamaru loved answering the child's questions. Some of them were just so innocent, it proved to Yashamaru that there was still some good in this village.

Gaara glanced down at his food as he spoke. "What are soulmates?"

Yashamaru stopped in his tracks.

"I heard some Chuunin talking about them earlier today," Gaara explained, a small pink blush on his cheeks. "I would've asked them but they left before I could…"

Yashamaru immediately understood the subtext behind that particular comment.

"Well," he glanced out of the window as he spoke. "A soulmate is…they're somebody who inspires you. And through that inspiration, you strive to be a better person for them. They knew you and accepted you before anyone else tried too." He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "It's like…like a best friend, but more!"

Gaara glanced down at the floor. "I…I don't have a best friend. Will I ever find my soulmate?"

'_How could a six-year-old be so lonely?' _Yashamaru frowned, cursing his brother-in-law once again…honestly, he'd lost count of how many times he'd cursed his brother-in-law to the gods above. _'He should've been the one to die…'_

Shaking himself out of his thoughts to focus on his nephew, Yashamaru smiled kindly, hoping—praying even—that the action would show Gaara there was some kindness still in this world. "Just because you don't have a best friend now doesn't mean you never will, Lord Gaara." With a playful smile, he lowered his voice to one just above a whisper. "Some people even have soulmates from different villages."

Gaara's eyes widened in astonishment. "Really? So they might be outside Sunagakure?"

Yashamaru nodded his head. "They could be. The soulmate bond doesn't care about distance, Gaara. It matches you with the person who will support you no matter what."

"How will I know where my soulmate is?" Gaara practically begged to know. Yashamaru understood: Gaara just wanted a friend, and he was desperate for any clues that could help him find that friend.

Yashamaru hovered his hand over Gaara's tummy, roughly where his Shukaku seal was. He couldn't touch the child, so this was the closest he would get.

"You'll hear a sound," Yashamaru explained, "that connects you to your soulmate." Yashamaru then moved his hand away from Gaara and hovered it over his own chest. "The sound comes when your soulmate goes through something bad, as a way of telling the other mate that they need help. Once it's triggered, that sound stays with you. It's almost like a guide to help you find your soulmate. And the closer you are to them, the louder this sound will be."

A new hope burned in the young child's eyes. "Aaa, I can't wait to meet my soulmate! I bet they'll play with me lots, and they won't scream and run away!"

Again, the words of a six-year-old pierced Yashamaru's heart. How he wanted to go beat that goddamn brother-in-law of his senseless…

Yashamaru decided to change the subject. "That's enough on that subject, for now, Gaara. We should eat, or your food will get cold."

Yashamaru took his seat across from Gaara. They both said thanks before digging into their food.

Now and then, Yashamaru would glance over at his nephew with a sad smile.

He looked towards the moon and prayed again.

'_Karura, please…let your child meet his soulmate.'_

And as always…his sister didn't reply.

* * *

Gaara loved taking walks throughout the village.

Taking walks meant he could observe the people and surroundings around him and he could learn.

He always took them alone, because who would ever want to walk with him? The villagers surely wouldn't: they'd run away before he could even ask.

It was just him and his teddy bear on this walk.

His mind kept wandering back to his conversation with Yashamaru last night; he was so curious about this soulmate thing! It was something new to learn, and it meant he would have a friend!

He hoped his soulmate was somebody from a different village. Maybe, then they wouldn't look at him like he was such a monster.

The young child didn't understand why so many people hated him. He knew he was infused with the sand demon Shukaku, but that wasn't his choice! He didn't want to have a demon!

Said demon cackled in his head, the sound echoing around him.

Gaara hoped that when he heard his soulmate's sound, it would bury out the sound of Shukaku.

In response, Shukaku just cackled again.

As much as he loved walks, Gaara had to admit it got lonely after a while. There was nobody there to have a conversation with! Sure, he had Shukaku, and one would think that having a demon sealed inside you would open many pathways for conversation!

Unless the demon only talked to demean and belittle you. Shukaku was mean, and Gaara didn't want to talk to mean people!

He could talk to his bear, but his bear couldn't talk back.

Maybe that's why he yearned for a soulmate so badly. Somebody who could talk to him and wouldn't leave him alone with his thoughts.

Gaara found the swing set—his sanctuary—and sat on the rickety old thing. He rocked himself back and forth, still tightly clutching his teddy bear.

He didn't know how long he'd been there for. Minutes, maybe hours? All he knew was at some point, a group of children came to play just a few metres away from him.

The sad thing was, this was the closest to socialization he'd ever been, and they didn't even notice he was there.

Gaara didn't bring attention to himself: he just kept swinging and watching, swinging and watching, again and again. If they saw him, they might leave, like everybody else.

It wasn't until the ball was kicked onto the roof that he decided he could try to help.

Very slowly, Gaara stood from his swing and outstretched his arm. The sand floated around him for a moment, before floating towards the football and cushioning it in its soft, grainy grip. Just as softly, it landed in Gaara's hands and he outstretched the ball to the kids.

"Here." He offered, just lifting the ball so that he could hide behind it.

But…just as he suspected, the kids didn't take the ball. Instead, he could feel their terror-filled voices.

"It's that kid!"

"He's creepy!"

"Quickly, run away!"

He could hear their footsteps as they ran away.

"No, wait!"

A part of him knew he should've just let them leave. But another part of him yearned so much for attention, good or bad attention, that he didn't stop the sand from wrapping around the legs of one of the children's legs.

Gaara didn't even realize what was going on until Yashamaru stepped in front of the child, arms outstretched to stop Gaara's sand.

Only then was Gaara brought back to his senses, the discarded ball down by his side. He didn't know what else to do, so he just turned and ran.

People whispered, people stared, and Gaara heard the words 'monster' and 'freak' thrown around.

He just did what first came to mind and ran, ran far from the villagers and their harsh words.

He ran past his father, but he didn't stop to acknowledge him.

His father didn't stop to comfort his youngest son either.

* * *

Staring at the picture of his mom, Gaara hoped his soulmate was as kind as his mother was.

He'd never known his mother; she had died in childbirth bringing him into this world. All he had that reminded him of his mom was Yashamaru's stories and the pictures that were in the house. From those pictures and stories alone, he could tell she was very kind.

If his soulmate was like his mom, then his soulmate had to love him.

Gaara didn't know how much longer he could take, waiting around on the off-chance he might hear this sound that would send him to some stranger and that he had to spend the rest of his life with.

Why couldn't he hear the sound now?

What was his sound?

Could his soulmate even hear him?

Gaara stared down at the knife in his hand.

Yashamaru had said that his soulmate would hear his sound when something bad happened to him. Maybe…if he hurt himself, he could trigger the sound in his soulmate?

Then they'd have to come to find him!

Gaara raised the knife and stabbed it into his hand, but the sand—like always—protected him. There were no marks, no blood…other than the knife in his hand, there was no sign that he'd even thought of hurting himself.

"It doesn't matter what I do," he frowned, lowering the knife. "The sand just gets in the way."

Before he could try again, a voice caught his attention.

"Gaara."

Gaara's eyes immediately widened as he glanced over to his uncle. He hadn't wanted his uncle to find him! "Yashamaru…"

Yashamaru very gently made his way over to Gaara, bending down to his level. He took the knife from his small nephew's hands. "Gaara, as your guardian and uncle, it pains me to see you do that."

Placing the object away from the child, he glanced down at his nephew: only to be met with Gaara's downcast look. That look broke his heart once more—how many times could his heartbreak?

Trying to lighten the situation, Yashamaru scratched the back of his neck nervously—a nervous habit he'd picked up from his sister. "Although I guess the sand would protect you anyway, so there's no real harm done? You aren't in trouble, Gaara, don't worry."

Gaara finally brought himself to look at his uncle and focused immediately on his uncle's hurt wrist. Gaara's heart clenched. He'd done that to his uncle.

Gaara wanted to cry, but all he could do was squeak out a small, "I'm sorry."

His nephew's words caught him off guard. "You're sorry? For what?"

Gaara merely motioned to his uncle's bandaged wrist. "I hurt you…"

Unlike the others, who would insult and belittle him, Yashamaru just glanced over at his wrist and smiled. "Oh, this? Don't worry about it, it's barely more than a scratch."

Despite his uncle's reassurance, Gaara still felt bad about what he'd done.

His green eyes caught the glint of the knife in his uncle's hand and thought about what he'd tried to do. His curiosity came back to him, a question burning in his soul. "Your wound…does it hurt?"

Yashamaru nodded his head. "It hurts a little bit—" And then, to reassure his nephew that the wound wasn't a big deal, he added, "—it will heal in no time." A playful smile pulled at his lips. "Besides, I'm a medical ninja, I'm used to healing myself from injuries like these!"

Yashamaru winced as the implications of his own words hit him. He had meant for it to be a self-deprecating joke about how many times Yashamaru found himself bumping or slicing his hand (or other body parts) and had to heal himself, but the last two words of his sentence implied_ 'wounds caused by you, Gaara'._

Gaara either didn't pick up on the implications, or he ignored them to ask his next question. "What does pain feel like?"

Yashamaru tilted his head in confusion, "What?"

"I've never been hurt before—"

'_Because she wants to protect you.'_

"—was wondering what it felt like."

Yashamaru himself pondered the question. "It's…difficult or upsetting. When you're in pain, it makes you feel—what I mean is, it's very hard—you don't feel normal."

Yashamaru prayed Gaara could be able to tell what 'normal' meant, but the kid's life had never been normal. What was normal to a boy who held a sand demon inside him?

A few moments of silence passed, and Yashamaru couldn't cope. Once again, he reverted to his nervous tic of scratching the back of his neck. "I'm not explaining it very well, but it's a situation you want to avoid if possible. Which should be easy for you, Lord Gaara!"

Yashamaru's words were meant to soothe the redhead, but Gaara frowned slightly. He wanted to feel pain. Maybe, feeling pain would make him feel normal—to experience pain like everybody else, that would make him normal.

Gaara averted his gaze as another question plagued his thoughts. "Yashamaru…do you not like me? Like the others in the village don't? I see how they look at me."

Yashamaru's eyes clouded over with something—guilt? Regret? Sorrow?

"It's not easy for us to hate each other," Yashamaru explained, forcing a smile onto his face. "Everybody goes through life hurting one another and being hurt by people—to hate somebody for that is just hypocritical."

Yashamaru secretly hoped that he'd done something to help Gaara feel better.

He had, because Gaara grinned up at him, innocent green eyes meeting Yashamaru's grey ones. "Thanks, Yashamaru! That helped, I think I kind of understand what pain is now!"

Not really the takeaway Yashamaru wanted his nephew to get out of that conversation, but at least the kid was smiling.

Gaara raised a hand, hovering his pale hand over his heart. "I think I'm in pain too, like everybody else. But this pain doesn't go away. I know I'm not bleeding, but I feel a lot of pain here."

He clutched his green poncho shirt in his hand. For once Yashamaru's thoughts drifted away from merely cursing his brother-in-law.

How skilled did a medic have to be to murder the Kazekage and leave no evidence? Yashamaru was seriously close to plotting said murder.

Slowly, Yashamaru took the knife and cut along the tip of his ring finger.

Gaara's eyes widened as he watched the small trail of blood drip from his uncle's fingers and into the floor below.

"Wound your body," Yashamaru began slowly, never breaking eye contact with his nephew, "and the blood will flow, following fast on the heels of pain. With time, the pain eventually fades away. Medicine can help it heal even faster."

Gaara was silent as he watched his uncle lift his hand, hovering it over his chest on the same position as Gaara's had been a few minutes prior.

Yashamaru took Gaara's silence as a means to continue. "But, an even more dangerous wound is a wound dealt to the heart. The heart has more trouble healing. There's usually no medicine for a wounded heart, and sometimes, it never heals."

Gaara's eyes widened in fear, and Yashamaru mentally kicked himself. He was talking to an (admittedly, smart) six-year-old here, his goal shouldn't be to scare him!

Gaara's hand rested above his own heart once more.

"There is one thing that can mend a broken heart."

Those few words did something no other words had ever done before. They had sparked hope in Gaara's eyes.

Yashamaru had never seen Gaara look that hopeful before.

"It's a complicated remedy, that can only be administered to you by another person." Yashamaru glanced sideways to the picture of his sister as he spoke.

The hope dwindled, but the innocence was still there. "What am I supposed to do?" Gaara pleaded, his voice almost breaking. "How am I supposed to get it?"

"There's one thing that can heal a broken heart. Love."

The word '_love_' had been forbidden ever since Karura's death. Yashamaru had never heard Temari or Kankuro use it—they just showcased their affection to each other by hitting, kicking and battling each other. The Kazekage—if he was even capable of love, Yashamaru thought bitterly—hadn't said it to any of his children since the incident.

And admittedly, Yashamaru had never told Gaara that he loved him. He was just as much to blame for the poor child's situation.

"How do I get this love?" Gaara asked with a hint of desperation. "How do I get rid of this pain?"

Yashamaru never tore his gaze away from his sister's photograph. "Don't you know, Gaara? It's already been given to you. Love is the heart's desire to care for someone, to watch over them and protect them. Just like my sister did for you."

Gaara glanced at his mother's picture while his uncle continued to speak.

"I have no doubt," Yashamaru said, shaking his head, "that my older sister loved you very much, Gaara. The demon Shukaku that dwells inside you is an abomination made for war—"

Shukaku snarled harshly inside Gaara's head.

"I believe, my old sister's love for you is carried in the sand that protects you." Finally, Yashamaru glanced back at Gaara. "My sister, even after her death, wants nothing more than to protect you."

Gaara glanced away from his mother's picture, and a genuine smile crept onto his face.

Yashamaru wanted to capture that moment forever.

"Thank you for stopping me before."

Yashamaru chuckled nervously. "You're very welcome. After all, I hold you very dear to me, Gaara. You're special to me."

Very slowly, Gaara stepped towards his Uncle and took hold of the man's larger hand in his own.

They were both silent, no words needed.

Gaara lifted his Uncle's finger to his mouth, before covering the wound his mouth. The metallic taste of blood very gently seeped into the young child's mouth.

Some people would've been grossed out, but Yashamaru knew better than that.

'_Can you feel my pain?'_

And if he did…why did it still hurt to look at the child that had taken Karura away from him?

After a few moments, Gaara had stepped back from his uncle, letting the finger drop from his mouth.

Yashamaru took the few minutes of silence to carefully heal his cut with his chakra: the cut was small enough to not need medical attention, a basic healing jutsu and band-aid would suffice.

"Hey, Yashamaru? I have a favour to ask you!"

"What is it?"

"I need some of your medicine," the six-year-old beamed brightly at his uncle. "I want to give it to somebody, to help them feel better!"

With a soft smile, Yashamaru took Gaara to go get this important medicine.

Once it was bagged up, Yashamaru watched as Gaara took off through the streets. He didn't even notice the ANBU behind him until said ANBU spoke.

"Yashamaru. Lord Kazekage wants to speak to you."

Yashamaru blessed the gods for having his back to the ANBU, as to hide the angry expression that came over him. He couldn't, however, stop his fist from shaking.

"What's this about?" The medic-nin asked, a sense of dread overcoming him.

"It's about the Shukaku vessel."

* * *

Gaara wasn't exactly sure how far the house he was searching for was from his own house.

Yashamaru, however, did and he had scribbled the address and some simple directions down on a piece of paper for his young nephew.

Gaara sped up as he ran the village; the thought of making his very first friend was just amazing! This could be the first extension of friendship!

As soon as he reached the address, Gaara knocked on the door and waited for the boy to answer.

When he did, his eyes immediately filled with terror.

Gaara tried to ignore the look.

"Sorry about earlier," the young redhead said honestly, raising the paper bag, "I know it must have hurt! I brought you some medicine to help you get better—"

Before he could finish, the other child had slammed the door shut in his face. "Get out of here, freak!"

Gaara felt the pain in his heart come back again, and the bag of medicine dropped from his hands onto the floor below him.

He tried to keep a brave face, leaving the medicine by the door in case the child changed his mind. And then, he had to get away from that house; he had to clear his head.

Another walk, that was what he needed. Walks always helped him.

Too bad the walk was even more lonely than usual. He didn't even have his teddy bear to comfort him anymore.

For a while, it was just him.

Then, he heard drunken footsteps tumbling towards him. This time, Gaara didn't want to be noticed.

Being noticed had done nothing but hurt him.

The drunken man had stumbled into Gaara, but in his drunken haze, he blamed Gaara.

Just like they always did.

"Hey, watch where you're going! You little brat!"

It was only after he had spoken those words he'd realised who he was talking too, and his eyes filled with terror.

Something inside Gaara snapped. Why did people always look at him like that? Like he was an evil monster who tried to scare them, like he was abnormal.

Like he was different.

With a wave of anger he had never felt before, Gaara glanced back at the man. Shukaku cackled inside him.

Silently, Gaara raised an arm and let his sand wrap around the victim.

He couldn't hear the man screaming, or the sound of his heart thudding against his chest. All he could hear was Shukaku's cold shout.

"_**Let me feel alive!"**_

* * *

Sitting on the roof, overlooking the village, Gaara wanted to know what would happen if he threw himself over the edge.

The sand would probably protect him, as it always did.

The desire to throw himself and, at least try, to end his life was great, despite the logical consequences.

Gaara didn't like crying, but the tears pricked his eyes regardless.

Why was he the one who everybody hated? Why was he such a freak?

Shukaku sensed his host's sadness, and—as usual of the sand demon—tried to goad a response out of him.

'_**You'll always have me, kid!'**_ the sand demon hissed.

Those words should've been comforting, but Shukaku spoke with such a mocking, cruel tone, that the words only served the purpose as a reminder of what he was: a freak with some sand demon in his head.

Gaara buried his head into his hand as the tears began to fall.

He didn't hear the sound of the assassin behind him, or of the kunai that flew towards him until his sand shield had activated.

Protecting him once again, when it would've been easier to just let him die.

Gaara turned to face the assassin, but his identity was well and truly hidden, with a mask covering his face. There was one slit for the eyes, but said eyes were lowered to the ground. Another cloth covered his head. Kunai floated around him menacingly.

Gaara's eyes hardened. Why him? Why was it always him?!

More kunai flew towards the young child, but they were once stopped by the sand shield around him. Similarly, the sand shield left one slit open, where Gaara's eyes could be seen: once kind and gentle, now hardened and angry.

He had to fight to protect himself.

Gaara lifted his hand, his sand encasing its victim before said victim could fight back. It immobilised him, dangling him in the air so Gaara could get closer to the man.

Gaara closed his hand into a fist, watching as the blood seeped from the sand as it crushed the victim's body.

Why did assassins even bother coming after him? They forced him to fight back!

Gaara lowered his hand, letting the body fall to the floor.

He should've run, but the child found himself stepping forwards. "Who are you?" his voice was filled with terror, his body trembling. "What do you want?!"

The would-be-assassin didn't reply.

He didn't need too: the bandaged ring finger said enough.

Slowly, Gaara stepped towards the body—the chest was still rising, however slowly it may be. With a shaky hand, he removed the mask that hid the attacker's identity.

Yashamaru, with blood running down his face, turned and smiled at him. "You did well Gaara. You did very well."

Gaara could do nothing else but let out an anguished scream as he fell to his knees beside his uncle.

"Why?" He managed to choke out between his sobs. "I don't understand."

"It was—" Yashamaru struggled to speak, but forced himself to anyway "—an order. I was ordered, by Lord Kazekage, to kill."

"My father?" Gaara knew his father didn't love him—hell, the child knew his father didn't even care about him—but he hadn't expected this.

"All these years, you've been studied like an experiment," Yashamaru spoke through shaky breaths. "The day will come when you prove to be too dangerous for the village. You had to be killed before then."

Gaara still tried to look on the positive side, forcing a smile. "You had no choice. You had to obey my father."

"You're wrong."

And with those words, Yashamaru crushed any hope his young nephew still had.

"I could've refused if I wanted. I suppose it's because, deep down, I've always hated you. My sister died bringing you into this world, and I can't forgive you for that." Yashamaru could hear the choked cries of his nephew, but he just glanced up at the moon above him.

It looked beautiful tonight.

"I tried telling myself that you're all that was left of my beloved sister." Yashamaru continued. "Since I loved her, I should love you. I tried, but I couldn't. She was forced to become a human sacrifice, and so she died cursing this village. And the day she died, I felt a wound in my heart that would never heal."

Gaara's mind instantly flashed to his previous conversation with Yashamaru. _'A wounded heart sometimes never heals.'_

Was this Yashamaru's wound to the heart?

"Your mother named you Gaara, a demon that loves only himself. Care for no one's existence but your own. Fight only for yourself, only then can you survive. That's what your mother left you. Her hate lives on, through you."

Gaara tried to block out his uncle's cold words. God, how he wished Shukaku would cackle and say something to him right now!

The sand demon was silent.

"You were never loved, Gaara." Yashamaru hissed, finally turning to look at his nephew. "Never."

And then, his gaze never leaving his nephew, Yashamaru pulled open his vest, revealing the paper bombs that covered his chest.

Smoke sizzled from the dangerous explosives.

Gaara didn't move.

"This is the end."

The paper bombs blew up right in front of the six-year-old, and he prayed that they would kill him too.

His sand, however, jumped to his protection once again, shielding him from the blow.

The word 'love' echoed in his head.

'_My sister loved you—'_

'—_the love of a mother—'_

'—_your mother's love is carried—' _

'—_it's love—'_

How he despised that word.

A rage he'd never felt before coursed through him as he let out a scream that echoed through the village.

The sand—the very thing that was meant to protect him—turned on him, pooling above his eyebrow and carving the kanji for 'love' into his forehead.

The sand pooled around him as he took a few shaky breaths.

'_Care for yourself.'_

'_Love only yourself.'_

Finally, it all became clear to him.

He was alone. He was always meant to be alone. He couldn't love anybody else, and nobody could ever love him.

"I am the only thing that matters."

Shukaku roared deep within him.

"_**LET ME FEEL ALIVE!"**_

Gaara complied, letting his eyes droop shut and letting the demon take over his body.

There were only three things that resounded through his mind.

His uncle was dead.

He was bleeding—and ironically enough, it didn't hurt.

And he had a new motto: live only for yourself, and kill those who get in the way.

Sunagakure only saw him as a monster? Then he'd be a monster.

It was what they wanted.

'_No,'_ he thought, losing himself as Shukaku took over his body. _'It's what they deserve.'_

* * *

After Yashamaru's death, things changed in Sunagakure.

Gaara became even more dangerous, even more feared.

His father sent more assassins after him, only for Gaara to murder them instead and send the bloody masks back to his father.

It was almost like a game.

There was only one day when Gaara was free from the assassination attempts, and that was the day some random ninja had stormed the village.

Gaara could've killed him. So what if he was only six years old, he would've been utilised as the perfect weapon then. His father's sick experiment would finally pay off.

His father, however, demanded he stays well away from the attack. ANBU were guarded at his door, ANBU that specialised in water jutsu in case Gaara got any ideas about escaping.

Instead, Gaara found himself watching the attack from his window—and oddly, supporting said attacker.

The attacker was quick. He came alone, and yet managed to take out a few of the esteemed Jounin in the village.

Only when the Kazekage approached the battlefield did the intruder leave.

He left behind two things: a clan symbol (later identified as a clan belonging to Konoha) and a series of dead bodies, including the mutilated body of the leader of the high council.

Gaara cackled with joy. The old coot deserved it.

Shukaku stirred within him. This attack could only mean one thing: a war was brewing.

And Gaara was itching to expand his murders to further than just Suna.

Unfortunately, said war never came.

Sunagakure ninjas did retaliate. A troop of them stormed the leaf village, but Gaara was left at home.

It wasn't too bad though: he took so much joy in watching the fools of the village walk on eggshells around him.

Watching them run away, begging for their lives while trying to escape a child was hilarious. That was his favorite sound.

* * *

When he was seven, he heard another noise.

The sound came suddenly. He had been at home, locked again in his room with specialist ANBU who would attempt to kill him—attempt being the pivotal word there.

At first, he thought it was Shukaku stirring and trying to tease him, but Shukaku had never sounded like that.

The sound of leaves rustling, and a hearty laugh that was carried through the leaves, echoed in his ears.

Gaara just gripped his head in anger and tried to stop the noise. It was quiet, thank god, but it was still an inconvenience to him.

And then, of course, the sand demon spoke up, cackling in that horrid laughter of his.

"_**HAHAHAHAHAHA! It's happened, Gaara, that's the sound of your soulmate!"**_

Again, the words should've been comforting. Coming from Shukaku, they were anything but.

The pesky tanuki continued to speak. _**"The sound of leaves, hmm? Sounds like your soulmate is from the Leaf Village! Now that's fucking rich, aren't we currently fighting them?!"**_

Gaara wanted nothing more than to shut the demon up, but then he'd be left with that sound. He didn't know which was worse.

"_**Don't go turning soft on me, brat!"**_ Shukaku hissed again. _**"This soulmate of yours better not invoke some fucking change of heart."**_

Now that angered Gaara, and he clutched his red hair tightly in his hand. _"Shut up!"_ He hissed. "I don't care about any stupid soulmates or this stupid noise!"

"_**And yet you asked so many questions about it!"**_

"I was a fool back then," the child hissed again, glancing up at the moon. He cursed Fate for giving him a soulmate at all, never mind one from a different village.

Then, an idea came to his head.

"Never mind," the child grinned maniacally. "If I should meet them, I'll scare them. They'll wish they were never so foolish as to wish for a soulmate."

Shukaku had shut up.

Only the sound of the rustling leaves echoed through his head.

He still couldn't decide which was worse.

* * *

**Kinda disappointed in this chapter, but it's the best I'm going to get. This has been through so many revisions.**


End file.
